Monday, June 13, 2016

Small Steps

Spent the weekend doing some more self education.  After 3.5 years of trying to make myself "normal", trying to figure out what my new normal is, of being told by doctors that what I'm saying doesn't make sense, and the ensuing isolation, it's silly to be surprised at how emotional I am when I read so many things things that I've experienced are not only experienced by many others, but are to be expected and that I can find guidance on how to handle things.  But I am.  It's beyond feeling validated, it's the sense of being overwhelmed when you suddenly realize that you aren't, in fact, crazy.  And even better, there's an entire community out there for support.  The basic, "Hey!! You, too?!  I thought I was the only one...." kind of support.

And of course there was this.  A favorite song from a favorite artist.  Nice!  I recognized too much in those faces than I can articulate.
I'm erring on the side of being cautiously optimistic, but I'm also hoping that there will end up being a number of resources that come into play that not only encourage me out of isolation, but also launch me into a healthier life arc, overall.  It would be so great.  Life in the City has always been a hustle, but the uphill battle of the last 3.5 years have been exhausting and entirely worth it. Still, I'd like to request some smooth sailing and sanity for a bit before the next "Onwards and Upwards" adventure!

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