Monday, March 14, 2016

Dreaming Of Monsters

As far as I can tell, the quote, 'if I got rid of my demons, I'd lose my angels" was authored by Tennessee Williams.

Since Tuesday, I've been dreaming of monsters.  Elaborate, detail filled dreams that were not restful but also weren't nightmare or night terror territory.  Being an ace at lucid dreaming and the fact that they were merely uncomfortable and not the "OMGWTF" tenor of 'mares and terrors, I decided to stick around through the ongoing ro
unds.  Though it did cause me to lose a great deal of restful sleep, it rewarded me with many different re-affirmations and insights.  First of all, fear can be your friend if you invite it in for a cup of tea, so speak, and listen to what it has to say instead of simply fighting it.  Fear is only bad if you let it cripple you, but respecting it can take you a long way on the path to a great deal of peace and insight.
I won't say that it's been *entirely* "Where The Wild Things Are", but let's do say that my version is pretty doggone good.  Last night's / this morning's was almost comical.  The monster [very "Alien"-esque] was moving in to, I dunno, eat my face, but I didn't run.  I was equal parts weary and curious and unafraid.  Complete, "Fuggit, let's see what happens" mode.  It paused and asked me why I wasn't running away and I told it I wanted to see what it really wanted.  I wishwishWISH I could remember what we talked about, but I woke up feeling like we ended up wandering about having a bit of a chat about things.  So many things.

It was odd and silly making [though I was dead on my feet for the first few hours of the day due to my night-time escapades], but the funny thing is that I woke up able to articulate something I hadn't before. [That's between me and my monster for now!]

Don't get me wrong, my monsters have been ugly, mother's love ugly [Freudian nod intended], but allowing them a spot at the table has been remarkable.  Maybe they are just misunderstood as it seems that they've been just looking out for me in their own monster-tarded way.  We just needed to find a common language.  And, for the record, they don't like loud, fricative noises either.  

Secondly, and seriously, be your own hero. It's probably overused and over-memed in a self help porn sort of way these days, but then again maybe it needs to be said until it truly strikes home.

Learn it.
Know it.
Use it.

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