Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Reward

Every year, on December 31st, I write a letter to the previous year in thanks to what it has brought and another to the next asking for things it can bring.  This last 12/31, I asked for challenges in a "bring it" sort of way.  Well, I feel as though those challenges have been brought on many, many levels.

At this just past mid year, I have decided to ask the year /  the Universe / the whatever for reward.  Not out of entitlement, but because I honestly feel that I have earned it.  The funny thing is the "reward" I want is not a reward at all on most levels.  I suppose I did choose to fall in love with someone who resides on the other side of the planet and whom I support traveling the globe [because that shit is REALLY cool - I certainly enjoyed doing it], but would pick him up at the airport in a heartbeat.

I did not choose the car accident.  I did not choose to be taken off of my medication which led to the brain hemorrhage which is now messing with me in every direction imaginable.

I did not choose how hard it is to get basic healthcare, any healthcare really, which directly translates into having a truly difficult time getting a job...especially when you may need brain surgery.  And which also complicates my ability to navigate the maze of government agencies in order to attain the benefits in which I have paid into for 30 years.

I have "payed it forward", kept with the positivity and shared it, given props sosososo many times. I have helped when I could and not been bitter.

Dear Universe, I could simply use a bump right now.



Thanks ever so,

Jacki

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