Monday, June 09, 2014

Happy / Sad

It is tough to balance the dichotomy of happiness and sadness.

I want him to see and experience so much, I did and I loved it so very much.  Yet I feel constellations of cells in my body that yearn for his presence.  I love how easily quiet we were together, but keep thinking of things I'd've shared with him had there been more time, but it was so easy simply being easy together.  I could list a list, but that would be silly.  And somewhat painful.

We're having a windstorm here in SF at the moment and he's likely melting in heat.  My brain is digging itself up from some kind of primordial mud.  Rebuilding and knowing itself again. It's fun and a bit of wow.  It is hard, too.  I have no idea how traveling families do this back and forthing.

I still have so much paperwork to do and feel so clogged but remember that my thoughts generally come out completed if I'm patient. I sort of go underground and then put things out nearly fully formed.  What looks like navel gazing is often getting my message right mentally because sometimes the good stuff happens in the peripheral angles of your vision as you work internally.

I just have a struggle and then I hear Louis Armstrong sing in my ear "What a Wonderful World' :)  Then, I think, of course!

No comments:

Post a Comment