Sunday, August 27, 2006

Long Hot Summer

This weekend I said goodbye to one of the the most incredible people I've ever met. While I think that he's off to experience bigger and better things, it doesn't change the fact that somehow he expertly filled a place that I didn't realize needed or wanted attention and now leaves a void that I can't imagine otherwise filling.

I think and hope I did the right thing, but my heart is in the tiniest of pieces. I'm hardly able to fathom how much it hurts.

Fucking wimp.

I play out my role
Why, I've even been out walking
They tell me that it helps
But I know when I'm beaten
All those lonely films
And all those lonely parties
But now the feeling is off-screen
And the tears for real, not acted anymore
I'm all mixed up inside
I want to run but I can't hide
And however much we try
We can't escape the truth and the fact is
Don't matter what I do
It don't matter what I do
Don't matter what I do
Don't matter what I do
Don't matter what I do
'Cause I end up hurting you

One more covered sigh
And one more glance, you know, means goodbye
Can't you see thats why
We're dashing ourselves against the rocks of a lifetime

(in my mind different voices call)
What once was pleasure now's pain for us all
(in my heart only shadows fall)
I once stood proud now I feel so small
(I don't know whether to laugh or cry)
The long hot summer just passed me by

I want to run but I can't hide
-Paul Weller

Joe, I'm so very sorry. I wish I was stronger.

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