Friday, December 03, 2004

Job hunting and other perversions of marketing

In my never ending quest to find yet another seasonal or 'oh-holy-crap-we're-bankrupt!' bartending position, I have been swimming the seas of craigslist like a little monkey on crack for the past several weeks. The wide variety of how people recruit is interesting. From 'You come to work, clean and on time, don't kill our customers too often and we pay you on a regular basis. Fax or email resume.' to pitches that very nearly chart your path through the corporate structure and implied pie charts and bar graphs.

This one, however, tops the charts in the category of truly bizarre and not a little creepy:

Sleigh bells ring
are you listening
in the lane
the sun is glistening
A beautiful sight
we're happy tonight
working in a restaurant wonderland
Gone away is the old job
here to stay is a fab job
I sing a new song
as I move along
working in a restaurant wonderland
In a new job we can be so happy
We can have a quality of life
You’ll say: Are you happy?
I'll say: yes man
And you will want my job
when you're around
Later on
we'll conspire
as we dream by the fire
To face unafraid
the plans that we've made
working in a restaurant wonderland
In the restaurant we can build a new life
Have 2 days off with great benefits
We'll have lots of fun with our new career
I’m glad I got a new job in town
When I’m hired
ain't it thrilling
Though your old boss gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play
In a hospitable way
working in a restaurant wonderland
working in a restaurant wonderland
working in a restaurant wonderland

I'm not certain whether to laugh or cry.

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